My FOB Parents

I had a conversation with my mom that blew my mind during this past weekend up at home. During one of her regularly programmed "pep talks" regarding career, marriage, imminent parenthood (and drying up of my eggs), she made some profound references to her own journey as a woman/wife/mother. She referred to a lot of things I had completely forgotten. Her struggle watching my brother getting in fights with racist punks at school, my dad refusing to encourage or say a kind word to any of us about much at all but working 20 hour days. 

This convo went on for awhile and into much deeper territory than I had anticipated, but thoroughly appreciated.  But another, laughably appalling realization from this convo was that I had never told my parents to watch #FreshOffTheBoat. They didn't know the show existed. Ridiculous. As small as this may sound to you, I'm seriously ashamed to say it. For all the ranting & raving I've been doing about this show, for all the posts and podcasts I've been a part of, I never mentioned it to them. I was so wrapped up in this milestone meaning something huge for the Asian American community, for Kollaboration and for myself as Eddie's female counterpart, I actually forgot how much this could/would mean something to my own parents. Cue facepalms of all facepalms. 

Maybe it's because Constance Wu just doesn't remind me of my mom, who has always been affectionate & bubbly, showering all 3 of her kids with tons of warmth and love. Maybe it's because Randall's beautiful laughing face reminds me nothing of my dad's terrifyingly stern demeanor  and who'd whup your ass and make you drop and do 20 whether you were his kid or not.  Oh appah. 

But by divine intervention or serendipitous timing, I got enough sense in me to tell them to watch it tonight. I really don't know what their reactions are gonna be. Maybe they'll think it's dumb. Maybe they'll think it's inaccurate. Or maybe, maybe they feel a twinge of validation for the 35 years they spent raising us crazy kids & navigating a strange new world they had to figure out from ground zero - the language, the customs, the economy, & the huge cultural gap that inevitably formed between them and their kids.  I'm not saying that they need network tv to pat em on the back, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it certainly makes me happy to give a little acknowledgement to generations of a very real and ongoing struggle.

This show has given many catharsis coupled with anxiety (or #RepSweats) for how "we" would be represented in mainstream media. And while all of that is valid, everyone knows it's just one step of many. My mom got screamed at to go back to China (we're Korean) by a 16 year old white kid in my hometown. I sat next to her as she got pulled over and treated like an illiterate idiot by a local cop when she didn't make a full stop. Will those stories ever be on screen? Does it matter? To a degree, yes, absolutely. I say fck yeah let's revel in this, it's awesome!! Let this be the beginning of important stories being told, uninhibited and honestly. Let's outcreate a past that we are no longer slaves to. What really matters is where we choose to go from here.

Recollecting anecdotes from my childhood as a grown woman hit me in a much deeper way than before. Maybe because I've internalized it all these last few years, maybe because I have a smidge of life experience under my belt, maybe because I now know how hard it is to earn a dollar and build a life. Its become glaringly apparent how important it is to remember and to understand my yesteryear. How necessary it is and always will be to take a step back & gather how far I've come to educate where I'll go from here.

I don't know where yall will be tonight, but I'll be sitting in Cafe Bleu at Kollaboration's Fresh Off the Mic screening, watching episodes 3 & 4 while texting with my mom and dad. :)